Drained

It’s been a draining pass couple of weeks for, more so for these few days. Lack of sleep, datelines to meet, going back to office when I should be in church and worse off, feeling lonely most of the time.

During these times, I can only gather strength from the Lord. When I feel that no one’s there for me, literally and figuratively speaking, it is Him that I draw my strength from. But I can go a little cuckoo sometimes - if I feel down, sometimes I wish I can just jump down the staircase and hurt myself but because of little darling baby, I have to snap out of my thoughts, ask forgiveness, both from God and my unborn child.

I always have to bear in mind, that whatever I think or feel affects the baby – his emotions and thoughts. That’s why I thank God everyday for this little one. When no one’s with me, he’s with me and God’s with me.

I still feel drained out, tired, frustrated but each day that passes by, gets better. I’m definitely looking forward to be on my own two feet again and this scripture definitely helps

Psalm 28:6-9
Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

18 Weeks and going stronger

I’m in my 5th month of pregnancy now. My belly is “Oh so obvious” and I’ve already started feeling the baby kicking since 2 weeks ago. I sure have an active baby growing inside of me.

When I did my 18th week scan two Wednesdays ago, junior curled him/herself up like a ball. Nicholas Aaron asked, “You carrying a baby or a football.” As for me, I think it’s junior’s daddy love and craze for football that makes junior pretend to be a football, curving him/herself in such a manner with hands flying around.

Made it so hard for the doctor to take a good picture. So the scan I got is the lousiest and most blur of all the scans. But take a good look at the scan, you'll get to see the baby's spinal cord. I's the most obvious part of the scan.

I’m really enjoying my pregnancy now especially feeling the baby kicking. Every time the baby kicks, my belly would be bobbing up and down. But whenever I place my palm on my belly junior will stop kicking. So to get Kwang Yew to feel the kick, he cannot place his palm on my belly, he’ll just have to be contented staring at my belly. But the funny thing is, he feels like there’s an alien inside of me. It’s really something new to him.

The kicking will be more obvious when junior grows a little bit bigger and that time, I’m sure Kwang Yew will get to feel the kicks. I actually can’t wait for that moment. I’m especially waiting for the moment where his/her her foot or hand pressing out and that I can see a lump coming out of my belly.

Gosh! Another 4 more months, and I’ll get to carry my little angel in my arms. This is so exciting. Makes the morning sickness and indigestion all worth it.

By the way, I still don’t know the sex of the baby. Waiting for another week or so to do a scan called Target Scan. This scan reveals everything about the baby – sex, heart, nose, lips and etc. My prayer is that I will have a healthy and perfect growing baby and finally, I will also get to do SHOPPING!!!!

Blessed Father's Day

Lessons from My Father: The Preacher
By the Reverend Franklin Graham
Interview by Amy Levin-Epstein, Best Life

My father became very close with the Nixons. He was fairly close with John F. Kennedy. After the Watergate era, however, he said, "I'm not going to say anything to a politician again unless it's of a spiritual nature. I'm not going to talk with them about political issues, about international issues. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and speak to them about things that affect their hearts." I've watched him my whole life. He is my example. My father doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If someone hurts him or disappoints him, my father just forgives the person and moves on. I think that's what love is all about.

There's no book to teach you. My father told me you learn how to preach by preaching. The only way you're going to learn it is to go out there and do it and learn from your mistakes. And he's right.

I saw that he was wary of politicians. They thought, If we get close to Billy Graham, that will influence votes. My father tries to use his position in a spiritual context.

He taught me that there is a devil in this world. There are spiritual powers at work against God. Why do we have bars on the windows? Why do we have to have police forces? Why do we have a judicial system? It's because of the evil in this world. Everything he taught, he taught us through the Scripture.

I never saw my parents fight. Never really saw them argue. My mother was a soul mate to him. They did everything together. My father treated my mother with the utmost respect. He honored her. I have a friend--we're about the same age--who loses his temper and yells at his wife, and he cusses at her from time to time, and guess what? His children do exactly the same thing.

My father is careful with women. He would not even ride in the same car with a woman other than my mother. I remember in Little Rock, Hillary Clinton, when she was the wife of Governor Clinton, wanted to meet my father for lunch. She wanted to have a private conversation. Daddy said, "I'd be glad to meet you, but we'll meet in a public place." My father told me, "I'm going to be above reproach and not allow myself ever to be accused of something that wasn't morally right."

He was gone for a long time when I was young. One time, he was gone for about six months. My father started his ministry right after World War II, when men had been gone for four or five years to defend the freedom of this nation. He felt, Should I do less for the sake of the cross? He later told me, "Son, if I had to do this over again, I wouldn't have been gone that long." When I'm through with my work, I go back home.

Life is a circle. When you are small, your relationship with your parents is one thing, and then you get to be an adult and they start treating you like an adult. And then when you are older, the roles reverse. Instead of the parents providing for the children, now we as children are helping to provide for our parents.

God did not give us religion. Religion is man's attempt to reach a holy God.

He knows how to stay on message. All these years, he has been faithful to what he feels God called him to do, and that is to preach this wonderful good news, this Gospel, that Jesus Christ died for our sins, that He rose again, and if we would confess our sins to God and ask for His forgiveness and turn from those sins and invite Christ by faith into our hearts and into our lives, that God would forgive us.

The Reverend Franklin Graham, 56, runs the organization his father founded. The fourth of five children born to evangelist Billy Graham and his wife, Ruth Bell Graham, Franklin has been a Christian evangelist and missionary from the age of 23. Since 2000, he has served as CEO, and since 2002 as president, of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. His father, one of most celebrated and well-loved preachers in American history, has counseled U.S. presidents from Harry Truman to George W. Bush.

Week 14

My baby is 14 weeks old now, that's about 3 and 1/2 months. My belly is already showing and i can't wear any of my current clothes especially pants, anymore. Moving on to maternity wear.

The morning sickness and indigestion that i was sufferring has all gone. Praise the Lord. I can eat normally again. I actually love being pregnant now. Watching my belly grow is just amazing. Baby's healthy, that's the most important thing right now. By the next check-up, i should be able to know if junior is a boy or a girl, if junior isn't shy (looking forward to the shopping actually).

Here's junior at 14 weeks. If you look carefully, you can see his/her nose and mouth already. Junior was very still and quiet during this scan, but because i wanted to see some movement, the doctor disturb him/her and i think he/she was kinda mad (we were disturbing his/her nap, i guess) because he/she just swatted his/her hands and legs. And then junior went back to sleep again.

What's your priority?

Given this question: what would be your order of priority?

1. Career / Studies
2. Ministry
3. God
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Hobbies
7. Others

For me, it’ll be:-
1. God
2. Family
3. Career
4. Ministry
5. Friends
6. Hobbies
7. Others (if i know what they are)

But unfortunately, not everyone will agree with me. Some would say career first before family. Some would say ministry first before family. Some would even say friends first. And usually those who say God first and family second when but you look at their daily lives and you don't see it in that order, they're just living in denial... or i could say, they're dreaming that they're living in the order that they said they are.

Ask them this question - how much time do you spend with God or with your family? Not counting dinner time (if you guys eat together as a family) and sleeping with your spouse. Come on, sleeping with your spouse is counted as spending time together?! Sheessshhhh..... How much time, do you spend talking and communicating? How much do you know about your family - what are their current likes and dislikes and etc? How much of time do you spend doing your devotion? How much of time do you spend praying?

Let them think for awhile. Deep down, you're hoping it will dawn upon them but of course some thick headed ego-ist ones, will still think that they are right in whatever they are currently doing.

In today’s lifestyle and age, it’s rather sad to see God and family being not being placed first in order of priority. I guess media and of course our lifestyle (which we need to compete to upkeep with the latest trend) totally changes this perspective.

Ever since I got married, I’ve began to realize how important God and family are to me. That’s why since having this life growing inside me, I’ve begun to cherish and appreciate every second I have with my mum and my dad. I realized that it’s not as easy as ABC. And having a support is really important. Mum and dad and been my greatest support. Even my parents in law are great support. They really took care of me. They’re God send.

I thank God for sending me these angels (in the form of parents). They rock better than you think.