Adoi!!!! Sakitnya!

Wow! I didn’t realise that I’ve not blogged in like 2 ½ months! So thought I’d better blog about something before I pop. The thing is what shall I blog about?

Well a lot has been running through my mind of late especially with the impending arrival of my little one. He’s been a very active boy, he’s hardly got space to move around inside so sometimes when he moves, I do feel a sense of discomfort and pain. Sometimes I would “sound” him? Is it wrong?

Will I make a good mum? I always say that I will be a strict yet a loving mum but will I be turn the other way around, where I love him too much that I let him do whatever he wants? What if I spoil him? What if my parents and my in-laws spoil him, thus he hates me for being so strict?

Has my faith in God become lesser? I’ve been reading and praying according to the Supernatural Childbirth book that I read but yet I still fear pain. So where’s my faith? How come I can’t seem to arrest the fear?

How about my confinement? Should I follow those strict “pantang-larang”. What if I cannot stand being tied down? Or should I just be care free and follow the western style? If I follow western style, will I end up will all the pain and aches like how some of my friend’s describe their ordeal because they didn’t follow the “pantang”?

My last check up 2 weeks ago – doc told Kyew and I that baby is a little small. That got me worried and I start eating more than I use too. What if baby is still small? Doc will definitely induce labour and get him out for him to grow outside. What is these 2 weeks, because of my overeating, he becomes too big… will I have a hard time pushing him?

Adoi! I’ve being driven to tears and getting all emo because of these questions! And there’s so much more! The pass 8 months, I was so cool and as the due date approaches…. Gosh!!!!
Lord! I’m crying out to you for peace. Arrest this fear and these negative thoughts in the name of Jesus. You have nailed pain on the cross more than 2000 years ago. I believe for a smooth delivery. I believe that both baby and I will be healthy and no future sickness will overcome our body.