Adoi!!!! Sakitnya!

Wow! I didn’t realise that I’ve not blogged in like 2 ½ months! So thought I’d better blog about something before I pop. The thing is what shall I blog about?

Well a lot has been running through my mind of late especially with the impending arrival of my little one. He’s been a very active boy, he’s hardly got space to move around inside so sometimes when he moves, I do feel a sense of discomfort and pain. Sometimes I would “sound” him? Is it wrong?

Will I make a good mum? I always say that I will be a strict yet a loving mum but will I be turn the other way around, where I love him too much that I let him do whatever he wants? What if I spoil him? What if my parents and my in-laws spoil him, thus he hates me for being so strict?

Has my faith in God become lesser? I’ve been reading and praying according to the Supernatural Childbirth book that I read but yet I still fear pain. So where’s my faith? How come I can’t seem to arrest the fear?

How about my confinement? Should I follow those strict “pantang-larang”. What if I cannot stand being tied down? Or should I just be care free and follow the western style? If I follow western style, will I end up will all the pain and aches like how some of my friend’s describe their ordeal because they didn’t follow the “pantang”?

My last check up 2 weeks ago – doc told Kyew and I that baby is a little small. That got me worried and I start eating more than I use too. What if baby is still small? Doc will definitely induce labour and get him out for him to grow outside. What is these 2 weeks, because of my overeating, he becomes too big… will I have a hard time pushing him?

Adoi! I’ve being driven to tears and getting all emo because of these questions! And there’s so much more! The pass 8 months, I was so cool and as the due date approaches…. Gosh!!!!
Lord! I’m crying out to you for peace. Arrest this fear and these negative thoughts in the name of Jesus. You have nailed pain on the cross more than 2000 years ago. I believe for a smooth delivery. I believe that both baby and I will be healthy and no future sickness will overcome our body.

Kidnap

I was watching 712 on Astro last night on the program THS: Investigates. I manage to only catch 2 ½ segments of the program. It was about kidnapping cases in US.

1 segment was about a 13 year old girl who was kidnapped by her next-door neighbour in 1995 and was held captive for 105 days. Of which, everyday of that 105 days, she was raped and physically abused. When the FBIs and the private investigator ambushed her abductor in a motel, she had forgotten her real name because her abductor changed her name and made her call him “Dad”. It's been more than 10 years and she can still clearly recall the horrible incident that happened to her.

The 2nd segment was about a 47 year old who was kidnapped by a stranger when he was 13 years old, while waiting for his mum. He was held captive for 18 months and was physically abused and molested by his abductor. On top of that, his abductor used him to lure other young boys into the abductor’s house. His abductor made him watch what he did to the young boys which was to drug and sexually molest these young boys. Many a times, these boys can’t recall anything because they were drugged and put to sleep. This kidnap victim is now married with children and grandchildren but he cannot get the incident out of his mind even though it’s been more than 30 years. He was crying, when he told his part of the story. The unfortunate part was the case against his abductor was dropped even though he was willing to testify.

I was so disgusted with child molesters or child predators. They completely have no conscience and what’s worse, these cases happen here too. Fortunately for the 2 people mentioned, they were rescued and not murdered unlike the girls and boys we know that were abducted and murdered here, in Malaysia. Take for example, the case of Nurin, they can’t find the perpetrator and murderer.

My little boy is not born yet, but I’m already worried for his safety. That’s why it’s so important for parents to keep a watchful eye on their children. And guys and girls, if you feel that your parents are holding a tight reign on you, it’s really because of your own safety and nothing else. Do understand the anguish parents have to go through when they find they children lost.

I was just stating the case of 13 year olds getting kidnap in US or 5 year olds getting kidnap here. But there are many cases where teens and adults do get kidnap too. I know that many of us think that we’re old enough to take care of ourselves and that we are big size enough to fend off these psychotic maniacs but strength alone is never enough. More often than not, perpetrators have IQs that are higher than an average person. They have strategies and tactics to lure their victims. We just got to be extra careful and when our parent advises us against going out late and coming back home late, listen to them. They know what they’re talking about. It’ll be too late to regret if anything does happen. Don’t even think that God can be taken for granted if we are not submissive to our parents.

Prayer Meeting 080808

Anyone watch the Olympic’s Opening last Friday? Im sure some did. As for Kyew and I, we both missed it. We even wanted to watch the rerun but unfortunately, we don’t know when? Any idea, anyone?

Well, Kyew and I were in church for prayer meeting. You know what, it was like Sunday Service, man. How awesome was that?!

The best part of service was when Ps Henry told Ryan to show the march pass of different nations (participating in the Olympics) and told us to stretch our hands and pray for God’s blessings and also for salvation over these nations.

Anyway, allow me to backtrack a little. Last two Mondays, both of us were in prayer meeting (before the 080808 all night prayer meet). Towards the end of the prayer meeting, a thought ran through my mind as I was observing our church members. Gosh! Kyew and I are the youngest member in prayer meeting other than Poh Yi Wen and David Poh!

I shared this with Kyew and he said, it’s kinda sad that young people don’t like praying anymore. But you know, we were proven wrong! On 080808 prayer meeting…. I really want to thank God for these guys – Dexter, Don, David S., Joseph Gan, Caleb Tan, Johannes, Wei Loong, Larry, Aaron Raj and Ivan Tan. On the 090808 5am prayer meeting, these guys were there – Larry, Ivan Tan, Wei Loong and Caleb Tan.

Hey guys! You ROCK! Thank you for encouraging Kyew and I and changing our minds.
God is looking for servants and not masters….

Drained

It’s been a draining pass couple of weeks for, more so for these few days. Lack of sleep, datelines to meet, going back to office when I should be in church and worse off, feeling lonely most of the time.

During these times, I can only gather strength from the Lord. When I feel that no one’s there for me, literally and figuratively speaking, it is Him that I draw my strength from. But I can go a little cuckoo sometimes - if I feel down, sometimes I wish I can just jump down the staircase and hurt myself but because of little darling baby, I have to snap out of my thoughts, ask forgiveness, both from God and my unborn child.

I always have to bear in mind, that whatever I think or feel affects the baby – his emotions and thoughts. That’s why I thank God everyday for this little one. When no one’s with me, he’s with me and God’s with me.

I still feel drained out, tired, frustrated but each day that passes by, gets better. I’m definitely looking forward to be on my own two feet again and this scripture definitely helps

Psalm 28:6-9
Praise be to the LORD, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

18 Weeks and going stronger

I’m in my 5th month of pregnancy now. My belly is “Oh so obvious” and I’ve already started feeling the baby kicking since 2 weeks ago. I sure have an active baby growing inside of me.

When I did my 18th week scan two Wednesdays ago, junior curled him/herself up like a ball. Nicholas Aaron asked, “You carrying a baby or a football.” As for me, I think it’s junior’s daddy love and craze for football that makes junior pretend to be a football, curving him/herself in such a manner with hands flying around.

Made it so hard for the doctor to take a good picture. So the scan I got is the lousiest and most blur of all the scans. But take a good look at the scan, you'll get to see the baby's spinal cord. I's the most obvious part of the scan.

I’m really enjoying my pregnancy now especially feeling the baby kicking. Every time the baby kicks, my belly would be bobbing up and down. But whenever I place my palm on my belly junior will stop kicking. So to get Kwang Yew to feel the kick, he cannot place his palm on my belly, he’ll just have to be contented staring at my belly. But the funny thing is, he feels like there’s an alien inside of me. It’s really something new to him.

The kicking will be more obvious when junior grows a little bit bigger and that time, I’m sure Kwang Yew will get to feel the kicks. I actually can’t wait for that moment. I’m especially waiting for the moment where his/her her foot or hand pressing out and that I can see a lump coming out of my belly.

Gosh! Another 4 more months, and I’ll get to carry my little angel in my arms. This is so exciting. Makes the morning sickness and indigestion all worth it.

By the way, I still don’t know the sex of the baby. Waiting for another week or so to do a scan called Target Scan. This scan reveals everything about the baby – sex, heart, nose, lips and etc. My prayer is that I will have a healthy and perfect growing baby and finally, I will also get to do SHOPPING!!!!

Blessed Father's Day

Lessons from My Father: The Preacher
By the Reverend Franklin Graham
Interview by Amy Levin-Epstein, Best Life

My father became very close with the Nixons. He was fairly close with John F. Kennedy. After the Watergate era, however, he said, "I'm not going to say anything to a politician again unless it's of a spiritual nature. I'm not going to talk with them about political issues, about international issues. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and speak to them about things that affect their hearts." I've watched him my whole life. He is my example. My father doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If someone hurts him or disappoints him, my father just forgives the person and moves on. I think that's what love is all about.

There's no book to teach you. My father told me you learn how to preach by preaching. The only way you're going to learn it is to go out there and do it and learn from your mistakes. And he's right.

I saw that he was wary of politicians. They thought, If we get close to Billy Graham, that will influence votes. My father tries to use his position in a spiritual context.

He taught me that there is a devil in this world. There are spiritual powers at work against God. Why do we have bars on the windows? Why do we have to have police forces? Why do we have a judicial system? It's because of the evil in this world. Everything he taught, he taught us through the Scripture.

I never saw my parents fight. Never really saw them argue. My mother was a soul mate to him. They did everything together. My father treated my mother with the utmost respect. He honored her. I have a friend--we're about the same age--who loses his temper and yells at his wife, and he cusses at her from time to time, and guess what? His children do exactly the same thing.

My father is careful with women. He would not even ride in the same car with a woman other than my mother. I remember in Little Rock, Hillary Clinton, when she was the wife of Governor Clinton, wanted to meet my father for lunch. She wanted to have a private conversation. Daddy said, "I'd be glad to meet you, but we'll meet in a public place." My father told me, "I'm going to be above reproach and not allow myself ever to be accused of something that wasn't morally right."

He was gone for a long time when I was young. One time, he was gone for about six months. My father started his ministry right after World War II, when men had been gone for four or five years to defend the freedom of this nation. He felt, Should I do less for the sake of the cross? He later told me, "Son, if I had to do this over again, I wouldn't have been gone that long." When I'm through with my work, I go back home.

Life is a circle. When you are small, your relationship with your parents is one thing, and then you get to be an adult and they start treating you like an adult. And then when you are older, the roles reverse. Instead of the parents providing for the children, now we as children are helping to provide for our parents.

God did not give us religion. Religion is man's attempt to reach a holy God.

He knows how to stay on message. All these years, he has been faithful to what he feels God called him to do, and that is to preach this wonderful good news, this Gospel, that Jesus Christ died for our sins, that He rose again, and if we would confess our sins to God and ask for His forgiveness and turn from those sins and invite Christ by faith into our hearts and into our lives, that God would forgive us.

The Reverend Franklin Graham, 56, runs the organization his father founded. The fourth of five children born to evangelist Billy Graham and his wife, Ruth Bell Graham, Franklin has been a Christian evangelist and missionary from the age of 23. Since 2000, he has served as CEO, and since 2002 as president, of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. His father, one of most celebrated and well-loved preachers in American history, has counseled U.S. presidents from Harry Truman to George W. Bush.

Week 14

My baby is 14 weeks old now, that's about 3 and 1/2 months. My belly is already showing and i can't wear any of my current clothes especially pants, anymore. Moving on to maternity wear.

The morning sickness and indigestion that i was sufferring has all gone. Praise the Lord. I can eat normally again. I actually love being pregnant now. Watching my belly grow is just amazing. Baby's healthy, that's the most important thing right now. By the next check-up, i should be able to know if junior is a boy or a girl, if junior isn't shy (looking forward to the shopping actually).

Here's junior at 14 weeks. If you look carefully, you can see his/her nose and mouth already. Junior was very still and quiet during this scan, but because i wanted to see some movement, the doctor disturb him/her and i think he/she was kinda mad (we were disturbing his/her nap, i guess) because he/she just swatted his/her hands and legs. And then junior went back to sleep again.

What's your priority?

Given this question: what would be your order of priority?

1. Career / Studies
2. Ministry
3. God
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Hobbies
7. Others

For me, it’ll be:-
1. God
2. Family
3. Career
4. Ministry
5. Friends
6. Hobbies
7. Others (if i know what they are)

But unfortunately, not everyone will agree with me. Some would say career first before family. Some would say ministry first before family. Some would even say friends first. And usually those who say God first and family second when but you look at their daily lives and you don't see it in that order, they're just living in denial... or i could say, they're dreaming that they're living in the order that they said they are.

Ask them this question - how much time do you spend with God or with your family? Not counting dinner time (if you guys eat together as a family) and sleeping with your spouse. Come on, sleeping with your spouse is counted as spending time together?! Sheessshhhh..... How much time, do you spend talking and communicating? How much do you know about your family - what are their current likes and dislikes and etc? How much of time do you spend doing your devotion? How much of time do you spend praying?

Let them think for awhile. Deep down, you're hoping it will dawn upon them but of course some thick headed ego-ist ones, will still think that they are right in whatever they are currently doing.

In today’s lifestyle and age, it’s rather sad to see God and family being not being placed first in order of priority. I guess media and of course our lifestyle (which we need to compete to upkeep with the latest trend) totally changes this perspective.

Ever since I got married, I’ve began to realize how important God and family are to me. That’s why since having this life growing inside me, I’ve begun to cherish and appreciate every second I have with my mum and my dad. I realized that it’s not as easy as ABC. And having a support is really important. Mum and dad and been my greatest support. Even my parents in law are great support. They really took care of me. They’re God send.

I thank God for sending me these angels (in the form of parents). They rock better than you think.

At 9 weeks

Went for my 3rd prenatal checkup. There were lots of worries and definitely lots of anxiety inside me. Wondering is the fibroid has grown or not. Is the baby still alive and well? There were lots of questions popping through my head before the checkup.

But I have to give thanks for the few people who have been praying for me and keeping me in their prayer. They are Pastor Ronald Teo, Pastor Mike Kuna, Cheryl, Jacqueline, my mum and dad, most definitely my husband and also I want to thank Aunty Helen (Alex Tio’s mum).

God has been good because He send these beautiful people to comfort me last week both in prayer and also in advise.

Doctor said my baby is very healthy. He/she looks more like a baby now, cause I can see the hands and the legs and of course the heartbeat. And junior was moving his/her hands and legs (likekungfu). I nearly teared with joy because it's so amazing seeing something so alive living inside me. God indeed is an amazing God.

Doc also said not to worry about the fibroid. Most importantly, the baby is healthy and growing.

So here’s 9 weeks old junior.

Bangkok - 3 April 2008 - 6 April 2008

It's been more than 3 weeks since our trip to Bangkok. Just haven't got the time to upload the photos and there's way too many photos that we took. So I picked out a few for your viewing pleasure.

Here goes.... some of the photos taken at our family trip to Bangkok. With the start of my morning sickness, I didn't really enjoy myself plus, it was the hottest month of the year in Thailand. Nearly had a sun stroke.... I've never been so afraid of the sun in my life!

Guess who did we meet on our way to Bangkok?! He's one of the nicest person I've ever met

My mum and dad at the Thai Village in Rose Garden. Dad bought that hat for 150 baht!

Mum and I having our brunch on the boat at the floating market.... It was an experience that everyone must try when they go to Thailand.

Kwang Yew monkeying with the elephant made out of teak wood

So real and so juicy! Even real ones don't look so appetizing

Adrian's turn to clown with elephant. He's trying to blind it.... Hmmm.....

I couldn't resist biting into the apple!

Fritz and I in the tuk-tuk

We met this cute little Korean boy on our trip. He's such a joy

Paula of Amazing Race Asia 2 is SO FAMOUS in Thailand. You see posters of her everywhere! She endorses Canon

Our ride on the tuk-tuk

Arrggghhhh!!!!

I’ve been throwing up the whole morning… I can’t seem to keep my food or my drinks down. It’s terrible, terrible! I'm feeling so bloated these pass few days!

My head feels heavy all the time, i have no mood for anything now, i just want to sleep....

O Lord, when is this torment going to be over??? Arrgghhhh.....

Of morning sickness and round the clock hunger

I guess most of you already know that I’m pregnant and my baby is 7 weeks now. Morning sickness is what I battle through everyday from morning til night and I’m constantly hungry. So the moment I feel hungry, it’s an alarm or warning to start filling my stomach or I will be nauseated which will be followed by a bout of vomiting if i'm still not fed. Baby just can’t wait, huh? Like this morning, at 7am, i was feeling hungry and i had to pacify the little one (even in the womb!), please let mummy sleep a little longer. I'll feed you soon.

I know that this is my stomach which i think i can still take control off but i think when junior comes into this world and starts crying, there's no way junior will allow me back to sleep until he/she's being fed.... Wow! The joy of motherhood....

I went for my very first medical check-up 2 weeks ago and doctor detected a fibroid (a growth in the womb) which is about 5cm x 5cm. I’ve had this fibroid since 3 years ago and I completely forgot about it until that check-up. However, I was told by doc that I mustn’t be doing any heavy duty job and definitely no heavy exercise or walking up and down staircases frequently.

at 5 Weeks

My 2nd medical check-up was today and my baby is growing at a healthy rate. Thank you, Lord Jesus. But my fibroid has grown too – 6cm x 7cm and I am told to be even more careful and to take extra precaution. However I have a very good doctor and he just practically shares everything of what I need to know about my body, my baby and my fibroid.

The best part about this check-up is to see the head and the heartbeat. It’s so tiny but it was a feeling that I can’t describe. It’s beyond happiness to see a life growing inside. It was beautiful. Kyew was hilarious, to him, “So tiny, can’t see anything”. But I couldn’t stop smiling because in the 1st ultrasound, it was just a black spot, but in this 2nd, I could see a tiny body (looks like the tiny baby kangaroo – refer to the picture slide show of Singapore zoo).

at 7 Weeks

The Red Cloth

It’s been a real long time… since I’ve last updated this blog. So many things happened these pass few weeks but so little time to actually sit down, relax and type something good for your reading pleasure.

I’m actually stealing some time from my office work… no wait, it’s already after my working hours… so there’s nothing for me to feel guilty about, right?

Chinese New Year have come and gone at my very first CNY in my new home that I call my own. It was different from our apartment days cause the apartment doesn’t belong to us. So we put up small deco and even hung the red cloth over our doorpost and most definitely receive comments, which are both positive and negative.

Unfortunately, I noticed that Christian Chinese who made the negative remark seemed to be so Christianized that they have forgotten their background and the Chinese culture. Also, some chose to be ignorant of other Chinese culture.

I know that in Klang, not many will hang red cloth over their doorpost for CNY unless there is a wedding or some prayer thing. However, in Melaka the Chinese hang the red cloth for any joyous occasion – wedding, birthdays and Chinese New Year. It is to show to people who pass by the house that there is a good thing that is happening within the household. So, since I’m a Melaka Straits-born Chinese, I chose to hang the red cloth, which we call “Ang Chai” for the very same significance. When I was in Melaka for celebrate my CNY with my family, we pass by churches that hung the red cloth too. The cloth makes the churches look so welcoming and fresh.

I also remembered many years ago where Pastor Henry shared about the Chinese hanging red cloths over their doorposts. He said that the red cloth also have a symbolic biblical significance. When God wanted Moses to free the Israelites from the Egyptians, the last wrath that God imposed on the Egyptian was that their 1st born would be killed by the angel of death but the Israelites who painted the 3 parts of the doorpost will be spared from this wrath. This took place during the Passover where the angel passed over the house of the Israelites.

I’ve been wanting to bloged about this red cloth story for quite some time and I finally got to. Well, I hope that what I have written here would be an eye opener to the actual significance of the red cloth instead of casting negative remarks, “I thought I’m entering into a Christian home”. As a host, I definitely do feel a little insulted but in my heart, jeer at their ignorance.

Singapore

Now for Singapore…. Kwang Yew and I had a really great time. I have a wonderful uncle, aunt and cousins. My cousin sis had to give up her room and she had to sleep with her parents on the floor. I love you Gaynor. This is Bukit Panjang, where we stayed.

Kwang Yew and I went to the Singapore Zoo to see happy animals.

We even had Ben & Jerry's!!!! Slurp!!!! Their Chocolate Chip Mint Ice-cream was awesome!!!

At night, it was Orchard Road. Lovely is the word for the Christmas deco. We even had Shrooms (Chicken Burger with Mushroom Sauce by KFC!). Yes guys, we don’t have it here. KFC here very slow and the menu is so pathetic lar….

And the notion of people thinking Singapore is expensive… NOT true. Most of the things there are almost the same price or less, even after S$ x 2.31, it’s still cheap or about the same. Well of course there are some stuff which are more expensive lar but hey, those stuff, I don’t use, so it doesn’t bother me a bit.

We went to Haw Par Villa (previously known as Tiger Balm Garden) on the 31^st Dec. You guys know this place? The first time when I was there was in 1987, next was in 1995 or 2004. Final visit was the last day of 2007. The place gets more run down each time I went. The place still looks the same to me with all the statues of ancient Chinese folklore and the ever famous 10 Courts of Hell (a good place to bring children to scare them into not sinning… Muahaha!), nothing new was constructed. My uncle told me the place is also haunted… by the account of taxi drivers who passed by there at nights. I didn’t feel a thing when I was there.

We had lunch in Vivo City, the largest retail mall in Singapore and it faces Sentosa Island. They even have mini pools at the top floor for children. And did you know that the people in that republic only work ½ day on the 31^st? How fortunate!

When we were there, there were some rehearsals going on at the top floor for the countdown that night. The place was jam packed! You could see youngsters trying to be there early to get front seats. I even saw a girl carrying a floor mat! Countdown is such a big thing there that Adrian and Choon Hui went there to join in the Singaporeans.

Well, here are the photos of what we took, from the moment we left Klang to the moment we arrived. Those last few pictures of my watch showing the time, just take the time minus 20 minutes cause my watch is 20 minutes faster. I was bored waiting for the substitute bus and I decided to do something…

The Start of 2008

What’s it like to start a great new year of 2008?... I don’t know. Don’t know how to answer that question because mine accelerated and hit the curb.

On the 1^st of January 2008, on the way back from Singapore, our bus had a break problem and we had to pull over at Seremban highway. That was about 9pm (of which following the schedule, we should reach home by about 10.30pm).

We waited until 1.30am for a substitute bus to come pick us up! 4½ of waiting! It was crazy! Nevertheless I still thank God for having us reach home safe and sound and in 1 piece.

It hasn’t been a good week and a good new year for me because I started the year with a lot of frustration and anger and all these happened at work.

But I thank God for His strength to pull me through each day and that every end of the day, joy comes back into my life and sustain me for work the next day.

I also thank God for Kim (who worship led last Sunday morn) and for Pastor Ronald Ooi (who shared). The songs that God chose through Kim and the message that God spoke through Pastor Ron served as a good reminder that in everything we go through especially the sorrow, persecution and frustration, He is our strength. And that we should know that our future’s in His hands.

I didn’t know what to make off the next day at work but I now know, no matter what happens, my God will pull me through. My God will make right what is wrong. He’ll turn my mourning into dancing. He’ll trade my sorrow for joy.

True enough, I had a bad day and I was deeply frustrated. But God kept reminding through his worship songs. When I got home, Kwang Yew had a vcd on, it was “Shout To The Lord 2000” and readings the words and watching how Darlene Zschech lead in worship led, just caused me to burst into tears and I know God was touching me at that time. And the song that was played when I entered my house was,

Stanza#1

I was in need and I needed a friend
I was alone and I needed a hand
I was going down but someone rescued me

Chorus

My God cares too much to say
His mercies are new everyday
I get down and prayed
and then help is on its way

Stanza#2

I walk by faith and not by sight
If things go wrong it’ll be alright
‘Cause someone’s greater
Is watching over me

Bridge

Now in faith I believe
That I’ve got everything I need
I walk by faith and not by what I see
I’ve got friends in high places
I’ve got someone I can call
And I’ve got someone watching over me

Thank you Jesus.

Happy New Year!!!

Blessed New Year everyone! May God bring you lots and lots of peace, love, joy and blessings this 2008.

Up next, a new dish i tried before Christmas. I thought it was difficult - gee, silly me, but i wasn't. My first try was for my dad-in-law's thanksgiving dinner.

2nd more successful try was for David and Jenny's Christmas Party. Here's how it looked like. I wish i had more creativity to make it yummy and presentable, just like how Su Yin (http://www.cookingismypassion.blogspot.com/) does to capture her food on photo.